Bush Regime Rules of Acquisition and for Maintaining Power

Rule 001	»	Once you take their oil, other natural resources, or cheap labor, you never give them back.
Rule 002	»	The best oil deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 003	»	Never spend more for oil or land than you have to.
Rule 004	»	A politician telling the truth is like an Republican saying I made a mistake. Do neither.
Rule 006	»	Never allow truth to stand in the way of making money or obtaining power.
Rule 007	»	Keep your mouth always open in order to cover your behind.
Rule 008	»	Small wars lead to perpetual war.
Rule 009	»	Controlling ballot boxes plus the Supreme Court equals the presidency.
Rule 010	»	Power is eternal. Be eternal.
Rule 011	»	Even if it's free, you can always confiscate it anyway.
Rule 012	»	Anything worth doing is worth doing for maintaining power.
Rule 013	»	Anything worth doing is worth doing over and over again.
Rule 014	»	Keep your family close, keep your oil closer.
Rule 016	»	A treaty is a treaty (until it is no longer useful).
Rule 017	»	A treaty is a treat is a treaty - but only between consenting CEOs, countries can screw themselves.
Rule 018	»	A Republican without profit is no Republican at all.
Rule 019	»	Working class satisfaction is irrelevant.
Rule 020	»	Only give money to people you know you can bribe or steal from.
Rule 021	»	Never place anything before profit, not even Jesus Christ.
Rule 022	»	A wise man can feel war profit in the wind, and the wind always blows.
Rule 024	»	Wealth can't buy happiness, but you can sure have fun with the illusion while awaiting Armageddon.
Rule 025	»	There's always a way to make more money.
Rule 026	»	As the oil goes, so goes the empire.
Rule 027	»	There's nothing more dangerous than a Bill of Rights adherent.
Rule 028	»	Lie your way to success.
Rule 029	»	What's in it for me and my crime family?
Rule 031	»	Never make fun of a Capitalist's workers. Insult something he cares about, instead.
Rule 033	»	Always suck up to anyone higher up in the chain of command.
Rule 034	»	War is good for business. Export it often!
Rule 035	»	Peace is good for nothing.
Rule 037	»	If it's free, capitalize on it and never worry about ethics.
Rule 039	»	The people are temporary; profit made off of them is a birthright, until they die. When they do, find others to exploit.
Rule 040	»	Let them shake your hand, but never your profit.
Rule 041	»	Greed is its own reward.
Rule 042	»	My oil is mine, and your oil is mine too.
Rule 044	»	Never confuse ethics with opportunity
Rule 045	»	Greed knows no conscience.
Rule 046	»	Make your fraud difficult to expose.
Rule 047	»	Don't trust anyone preaching the Sermon on the Mount.
Rule 048	»	The bigger the oil field, the greater the Shock and Awe.
Rule 049	»	All oil is worthy of stealing, or, at least, for overthrowing a foreign government.
Rule 050	»	Gratitude can bring on weakness. Encourage it in others.
Rule 051	»	Reward everyone who adds to your profits then seize their assets.
Rule 052	»	Never make deals when you can steal instead.
Rule 057	»	Good Capitalists are as rare as new oil finds, exploit both.
Rule 058	»	There is no substitute for wealth.
Rule 059	»	Helping others without profit is worthless.
Rule 060	»	Keep your lies consistent, constant and repeat them often.
Rule 062	»	The riskier the war, the greater the profit.
Rule 065	»	Win or lose, there's always God on our side.
Rule 068	»	Bribery will get you anything you want.
Rule 069	»	Republicans are not responsible for their own stupidity.
Rule 072	»	Never trust anybody outside the owning class.
Rule 073	»	Send other's children to wars for oil, never send your own.
Rule 075	»	Home is where the heart is, but the love is where the oil is.
Rule 076	»	Every once in a while behave irrationally. It confuses the hell out of the people. If no one is around to do it, ask George W. to be himself.
Rule 077	»	Never swallow your pride, blame Clinton and ask Monica how it's done.
Rule 078	»	When the going gets tough, the tough do it illegally.
Rule 079	»	Beware of the calls for social justice.
Rule 082	»	The poor eat too much. Do away with all nourishment entitlements and the greater the profit.
Rule 084	»	A friend is not a friend if they reject wars of choice.
Rule 085	»	Never let the people know what you're thinking, even if you know how.
Rule 087	»	A foreign country in need means five times the profit potential.
Rule 089	»	Ask not what your children can do for your country, as what other's children can do for oil.
Rule 092	»	There are many ways to profit from a hurricane tragedy.
Rule 093	»	Act without delay! The truth may be catching up.
Rule 094	»	Females and Board Rooms don't mix.
Rule 095	»	Increase wealth or die.
Rule 096	»	For every law, there is a way of breaking it undetected.
Rule 097	»	Enough wealth... is never enough.
Rule 098	»	Anyone who is not with us can be eliminated.
Rule 099	»	Trust is a mistake.
Rule 100	»	If they take your threat seriously, ignore it and attack anyway.
Rule 101	»	The only value of ethics is to accuse opponents as not having any.
Rule 102	»	Life ends, but Power lasts forever.
Rule 103	»	Work can interfere with exercise, take a vacation often, preferably on a ranch in Texas that has no cows.
Rule 104	»	Faith moves nothing. Don't tell the believers.
Rule 105	»	Don't trust anyone who is poor, or a minority.
Rule 106	»	There is no humanity in poverty. Eliminate the poor.
Rule 107	»	Responsibility is valid only if they catch you.
Rule 109	»	Dignity and an empty purse is worth the purse.
Rule 111	»	Treat people in your regime like family, exploit them ruthlessly.
Rule 112	»	Never have sex with a non-Capitalist. It may spoil the gene pool.
Rule 113	»	Always have sex with Capitalists. Inbreed!
Rule 115	»	The best contract can always be made null and void by decree. Issue decrees often.
Rule 116	»	There's always an escape clause.
Rule 117	»	Everything is a commodity. Sell everything and everyone.
Rule 119	»	Always judge a friend by the size of their wallet, better still through their Swiss bank account records.
Rule 121	»	Everything is for the taking. Take everything.
Rule 123	»	Even a blind man can recognize the smell of oil. Have them look for it for you.
Rule 125	»	You can't invade countries if you're dead. Stay alive.
Rule 126	»	Count the barrels.
Rule 127	»	Arm the world. Incite war. Always back the side with the oil.
Rule 135	»	Never trust a country with a nationalized oil industry. Better still, invade them and liberate their oil.
Rule 139	»	Wives provide. Keep them barefoot, cooking and pregnant.
Rule 141	»	Only fools play fair.
Rule 142	»	There's no such thing as International law.
Rule 143	»	Lying is part of the game. Lie for all it's worth.
Rule 144	»	There's nothing wrong with sacrifice... as long as the working class does it.
Rule 146	»	War is the mother of profit. Greed is the father. The children inherit both.
Rule 152	»	A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know the truth. The lie doesn't matter.
Rule 153	»	Sell the image, not the person.
Rule 162	»	Especially in the worst of times, when many suffer, turn a profit off of the suffering.
Rule 168	»	Kiss up as a way to success. Better still, arrange your birth into a wealthy family.
Rule 169	»	Responsibility and failure are mutually exclusive.
Rule 171	»	Blood is thicker than water, and oil is thicker than both.
Rule 172	»	Millions of dollars aren't what they used to be. Acquire billions.
Rule 177	»	Know your own shortcomings and then cover them up.
Rule 181	»	Nothing can tarnish the shine of profit, not even murder.
Rule 188	»	A country and its oil is the best candidate for stealing both.
Rule 189	»	Let others keep their ethics. You keep their money.
Rule 190	»	Hear only what you want others to hear.
Rule 191	»	A Republican doesn't hesitate to back a Republican president, even if he can't read, nor speak coherently.
Rule 192	»	Never cheat another Republican... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Rule 194	»	It's always good politics to have dossiers ready about new partners before they walk in your door. Better still, have dossiers on everyone.
Rule 200	»	If you're losing money, never admit it.
Rule 202	»	The justification for oil profit is profit.
Rule 203	»	Oil sheiks are like cesspools, they stink, but are easy to use.
Rule 204	»	It takes a Republican to cheat a Republican.
Rule 208	»	The only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. Have Scot McLellan give the answers.
Rule 211	»	Workers are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule 214	»	Never begin a war on an empty stomach, nor with a country that can actually fight back.
Rule 216	»	Never gamble with a non-Swiss bank account.
Rule 217	»	You can't free a worker from their toil. Why would you want to?
Rule 218	»	Always know what you're stealing. And if you don't, steal it anyway.
Rule 219	»	Possession of oil fields is 11/10 of the law.
Rule 223	»	Beware of people who don't exploit.
Rule 229	»	Power lasts longer than lust. Get aroused often.
Rule 231	»	There's a religious sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to give them religion.
Rule 236	»	There is no shame in screwing up, only in admitting having screwed up.
Rule 239	»	Never be afraid to spin the truth.
Rule 241	»	Never trust a do-gooder.
Rule 242	»	More is best. Having everything is better.
Rule 253	»	Alcohol is the lubricant of choice when watching football and eating pretzels..
Rule 255	»	A smart wife is a contradiction; a smart accountant, a necessity. Never have both be one and the same.
Rule 256	»	Blowing the job is less costly politically than getting a blow job. Ask Clinton.
Rule 260	»	Politics is not fair. How else would you run the world?
Rule 261	»	A religious man doesn't let facts get in the way of belief.
Rule 262	»	Giving one's word isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Rule 263	»	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for oil.
Rule 265	»	Foreign countries should be tolerated... until their oil wells run dry.
Rule 266	»	When in doubt, do it anyway, or lie.
Rule 267	»	If you say a lie often enough, the people will believe the lie, and you will believe they believe you.
Rule 270	»	In making oil deals with countries, Shock and Awe can be very persuasive.
Rule 277	»	Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from, but never worth dying for. Hide!
Rule 284	»	Deep down, everyone's a Republican!
Rule 285	»	No good deed ever makes a lot of money.
Rule 286	»	When Condi is unavailable, ask Uncle Dick. He can be found in an underground cave.
Rule 299	»	Whenever you exploit a nation, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time.
Rule 300		Make any rule up at any time to insure increased wealth and power!